The Duo Debate
by Night-Mare-Chan
Summary: Why is Duo 'too cool'? Read this quirky little essay and find out!


Some citrusy content ahead....  
  
Eight out of every ten Gundam Wing fans will agree that Quatre is squshi,  
  
conversely, the same nine will generally agree that Duo is too cool. Just  
  
what gives Mister Maxwell the honor of being too cool? To answer this, I  
  
have broke it down into different categories. Looks, loyalty, quotes and  
  
quirks  
  
Looks:  
  
Duo is high up there on the bishonen scale. With that long braid and those  
  
soulful (although sometimes slightly sadistic) eyes. This seriously helps in  
  
his coolness factor. Still, this could not be the final answer because,  
  
Zechs, Relena and Dorothy all have long hair. And if you pushed Trowa's  
  
bangs back from his face I'm sure it'd hang down to at least his shoulders.  
  
Admittedly Trowa's hair can take on some very weird forms.  
  
*It is morning and the pilots minus a clown are sitting around drinking  
  
coffee. Trowa walks in with his bangs sticking straight up in the air.*  
  
Duo: Hurk! *begins choking on his coffee.*  
  
Wufei: *quietly* By the gods, he has two eyes.  
  
Trowa: What did you say Wufei?  
  
Wufei: Nothing...much... *snrk*  
  
Duo: *managing to get the coffee unlodged from his throat. Tentatively takes  
  
another sip.*  
  
Heero: Ohayo Unicorn-boy....  
  
Duo: Hurk!!  
  
Wufei: Ugh! Gross Maxwell! Keep your coffee in your mouth and not out your  
  
nose!  
  
But I digress  
  
  
  
Loyalty:  
  
Duo is very loyal. He is the one least likely to betray his established  
  
comrade and/or friend no matter how many times he gets punched and/or gets  
  
the remains of his gundam blown up.  
  
Duo is also very interested in keeping his friends cheered up, whether they  
  
want to be or not.  
  
Duo: Are ya happy yet?  
  
Heero: No.  
  
Duo: How 'bout now?  
  
Heero: No.  
  
Duo: How 'bout now?  
  
Heero: No. *eyetwitch*  
  
Duo: How 'bout n-  
  
Heero: Omae o korosu *pops Duo over the head. Duo slumps to the ground  
  
unconsious.*  
  
Heero: ... ... ... ... I think I'm finally happy.  
  
  
  
Quotes:  
  
Duo is very quotable. How can you go wrong with, The God of Death is back  
  
from hell! or The Great Destroyer is back from the darkness! or Shinigami is  
  
back from (insert Japanese word for hell here)  
  
Those lines are unique to Duo and wouldn't sound right coming from the mouth  
  
of any other pilot. Take for instance...  
  
The Clown of Death is back from purgatory!  
  
or  
  
The Lightning Count is back from the beauty salon!  
  
or  
  
The Chinese God of Justice is lost again!  
  
Quatre: Wufei...are you sure you read the map right?  
  
Wufei: I'm sure.  
  
Quatre: Are you positive?  
  
Wufei: I'm sure all right? This is where we're supposed to be!  
  
Duo: So this is the top secret Oz military base huh? *looks around at a  
  
playground with a bunch of kindergartners staring wide-eyed*  
  
Trowa: They're so vicious. So deadly. We must destroy them quickly before  
  
they color over the world.  
  
Wufei: Stupid onna road map...*grumble* *mutter* Should have turned LEFT at  
  
L1  
  
Quirks:  
  
Duo has some quirks that make him cute yet dangerous at the same time. These  
  
can be separated into two categories  
  
Deathscythe  
  
And  
  
Braid  
  
Deathscythe is his most obvious qurik. If Deathscythe were human...they  
  
could have a very interesting relationship...  
  
Duo: Deathscythe...  
  
Deathscythe: Duo...  
  
Duo: Deathscythe...  
  
Deathscythe: Duo...  
  
Miaka: Tamahome!  
  
Duo/Deathscythe: Nani?  
  
  
  
Secondly  
  
The first rule to not-having-Duo-go-zero-on-your-butt is to not touch his  
  
gundam. The second is, if you fear for your life, hands off the braid. Duo's  
  
braid is his pride and joy and woe to them who tries, even in jest, to cut  
  
it off.  
  
Because Duo is so fond of his locks, he probably takes very good care of  
  
it...  
  
*It is morning. All the gundam pilots minus a shinigami are sitting around  
  
drinking coffee. Duo walks in with pink curlers in his hair.*  
  
Wufei: Hurk! *starts choking.*  
  
Duo: You know, Fei, if you pass out I'm not going to be the one to give you  
  
mouth to mouth...  
  
Trowa: Hurk! *hurriedly covers his face with a napkin.*  
  
Or if you prefer a slightly more...adult version.  
  
Quatre sighed to himself as he padded down the hall. It was Wednesday...that  
  
meant it was his day to prod the God of death out of his corpse like sleep.  
  
He paused a moment to gather himself, then pushed open the door to the  
  
disaster area known as Duo's room.  
  
The shower was going in the adjoining bathroom. More then a little suprised  
  
that Duo had managed to rouse himself for bed, Quatre started to leave the  
  
room when a loud moan caught his attention. Quatre paused mid-step, curelean  
  
eyes widenening. The noise was coming from the shower.  
  
"Oh yes!" Duo shouted, in a loud, triumphant tone. "Yes! Yes! Yes!" Quatre  
  
felt his face grow hot. He forced his numbed legs to move and propelled  
  
himself from the room, shutting the door firmly behind him. Some things were  
  
really not his business to know.  
  
~~~  
  
Duo sighed in release and leaned against the wall. He always felt so tense  
  
until he washed his hair. He set his bottle of Herbal Essence (tm) on the  
  
rim of the tub and turned off the water.  
  
  
  
Ahem....ANYWAY  
  
To conclude...Duo is just too cool because he is just that cool. In a way  
  
you could say he's a puppy dog...with very, very sharp teeth...  
  
Until next time!  
  
Wo Ai Ni, No Da!  
  
Night~Mare 


End file.
